I know, I'm a slacker... a few random things from the past week...

Well, I'm aware that I've been a total slacker lately, but I've been like and alcoholic hair product this whole past week. Get hammered, recover from hangover, repeat. Unfortunately, keeping up that kind of schedule doesn't leave much time for blogging.

Since it's been a while I'll just throw out some random things from the past week or so, which included Thanatos coming up this weekend and us hanging out with another roommate of ours from USF, who I'll just call MM. He lives in the Upper East Side now.

* During the week, I went out for some serious boozing with MM. The few random things I remember... doing some sort of street dancing/break dancing with these dudes outside of a bar... somewhere (I have no idea what part of town that was in) and grabbing drinks at Beauty Bar. They had a manicurist on staff and had a deal where a manicure was $10 and it comes with a free martini.

* I was introduced to Country Club malt liquor this weekend, which was fun. MM and I picked up a couple of 40's (still always a novelty since in Florida you can't get anything bigger than a "32," which is lame).

I'm not going to lie and say it was delicious, heck - when I opened the bottle it smelled like it farted, but it did provide us with endless entertainment in many ways.

Someone made a MySpace page for the malt liquor and it's pretty goofy.

Who I'd like to meet:
I'd like to meet "real" drinkers. The kind of person who likes to go to the store and pick up a ice cold and frosty Country Club 40oz. and drink it right in the parking lot. That's right, you don't have time to wait until you get home.

Or "his" TV Interests:

Television I remember the episode of Sesame Street where Burt came home after a long day and went right to the fridge. Well, guess what? Yup, Ernie had drank up all of Burts 40oz and was face down on the carpet. Needless to say, Burt beat the shit outta Ernie that day. I think the letter of the day was P....for Pain.

Hopefully Country Club malt liquor will accept my friend request, unlike Sue Bird. That hurt deep, but somehow I think I'll pull through.

* Besides, there are bigger things to worry about in this city, like C.H.U.D., Cannabalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.

We spent a lot of time underground, both on and off trains, so we had to be extra cautious this weekend due to the constant threat of C.H.U.D.



* Thanatos and I stumbled on the Hell's Kitchen Flea Market, which was pretty cool. They had all kinds of weird things for sale, ranging from records to those old-timey two-piece telephones to a 1990 Batcopter toy complete with a picture of Michael Keaton on the box.

I was able to behave myself and left with just one thing, the Godfather soundtrack on record. There's some quality music in that movie, like the "Godfather Waltz" -



* We totally set back my health efforts by about two or three months at least. Along with copious amounts of booze and other random food, including of course the malt liquor, we had Hooters, KFC and White Castle. Those are not places known for their healthy options.

*Oh yeah, I successfully got my transit subsidy worked out... I just had to get turned away from a bunch of seemingly legit places first.

* Also, thanks for all the birthday wishes and such!

"Reading totally sucks ass" - Officer Barbrady

So, though I joked about being an avid non-reader, I actually tore through a book this week that was great... until about the last 75 pages. It was called With a Tangled Skein.


It's part of a series, and I read another book in the series, On a Pale Horse, and it was great. So that's why I picked up this one... and it was great too, until I got toward the end. Then it started sucking like a Dyson. Once it started sucking, it just kept sucking all the way to the end... I swear, it "never lost suction."

Those last pages were literally painful to finish, but I figured I had read the first 300 or so pages and they were enjoyable so I'd see it through to the end and maybe the very end would be good. Wrong.

The end involved a stupid maze of puzzles that were either really easy to figure out (thus making the ten pages it took the heroine to "figure it out" painful) or they were just so dumb they weren't worth pondering.

This puzzle maze went on until the very end. I just kept reading and seeing there were less and less pages and then BAM! It was over. The solution to the whole book was the simplest, dumbest thing. I thought of the solution pretty much as soon as the problem was presented, as anyone over three (except apparently the heroine) would figure it out pretty quickly.

I swear to God. Ridiculous.

Since I doubt any of you will read the book, I'll oversimplify the plot and spoil it...

The main character is the Incarnate Fate (made up of three people)... who, along with several other powers, can ultimately cause people to die if they want, because they determine fates.

Long story short, Satan has rigged the Senate and filled certain Senate seats with people who will do his bidding and prevent the right, good people, from getting their seats in the future.

So Fate is stumped, for about 100 pages, on how to fix the problem and get some of the stacked Senators out of the Senate and set the world's fate right.

So about 25 pages lead up to the puzzle maze, and then the main character goes through this massive 75 pages of stupid puzzle maze to find the answer...

Any ideas? Bueller? Bueller?

Put overly simply, at the end the heroine is like "Oh yeah, Fate can determine the Senator fates and ultimately cut them short, thus getting rid of them."

I just about shat myself. I was so pissed. The first 300ish pages were great. Heck, I tore through the book in four days, which is crazy for me... but the end that I read today just hurt my brain and made me begin to question the value of the written word.

When I finished it, I couldn't help but think of Officer Barbrady's speech from the South Park episode where he learns to read. He was tricked into learning to read by a crazy bookmobile driver who was having sex with chickens and leaving clues that forced Barbrady to learn to read in order to catch him... brilliant.

They hold a parade to celebrate his learning to read and this is part of his speech to the crowd...

Officer Barbrady: "Well, first of all I'd like to thank the town of South Park, the town that borne me and eventually will rob me of my life precious.

Second, I'd like to say to all those out there who think they can screw chickens just to teach people to read... Your days are numbered!!!

And finally, I'd like to say that READING TOTALLY SUCKS ASS!!"

That scene played through my head in loop once I put the book down in disgust.

The bookmobile driver had given him the breezy read that is Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand... which led to his rage against reading.

Side note: Apparently an Atlas Shrugged movie is in the works and may star Angelina Jolie... weird.

This whole book reading experience has left me a bit jaded. I think it's time to go back to reading the Post on my subway ride to and from work again. Books and me are not friends at the moment. Seriously.

Besides, I almost feel like I'm cheating on my newspaper guy in the morning. He stands outside the train station entrance with stacks of papers every morning and for a while I would like clockwork pick up a Post every morning. Since I started reading the book though, I've walked by, novel in hand, and just tried not to make eye contact.

Anywho... it's T-minus one day until my open house... we'll see if anyone shows. I met some nice people in the elevator who seemed nice and vaguely interested in coming. They may swing by. Who knows. No matter what, it should be an interesting evening. We'll see...

Follow up: The bronze bull is back at Bloomingdale, and apparently it was indeed some very stupid kids. It sounds like they were probably from Brandon high, so it makes sense that they're stupid I suppose.

Other follow-up: I think I'll stop checking...I'm fairly certain Sue Bird rejected my friend request on MySpace :(

That's ice cold... and I maintain it's also not a great way to help build a fan base for the WNBA. Despite the hurt, I think I'll still try to go see Bill Laimbeer when his team comes to Madison Square Garden. I'll soldier, somehow.

I took a quick picture of the view from where I work...

This is the view from an office right across the hall from mine. We're on the 21st floor.

I, of course, have no view. My coworkers and I have an interior "office" with no windows. I put the word office in quotes because we actually work in a large storage room that has been retrofitted with cubicle walls.

Anywho, that sums it up for this post... an old buddy of mine is coming into the city this weekend so I need to go do some serious liver prepping!

P.S. I checked my MySpace and there are no new professional basketball players in my friends list yet... :(

The WNBA might be a cheaper way to see Madison Square Garden than a Knicks game... maybe

As I was walking by Madison Square Garden the other day, I decided I'm going to try to see a WNBA game... since I technically have a home team now, the New York Liberty. It seems like it might be a good, and cheaper, way to see an event at Madison Square Garden... though I've heard Knicks tix aren't too hot a commodity around here...

I actually think it will be a lot of fun.

So I'm looking at the Liberty's schedule, and there are like no good games for the rest of the season! No, I'm not being facetious either.

I would love to see Diana "Taurasi the Destroyer" Taurasi (she was sent from the future to destroy all comers in women's basketball... but that's a whole different thing) and her Phoenix Mercury, but nooooo... they aren't coming before the end of the season.

I've totally had a little crush on Sue Bird from the Seattle Storm since her days dominating at UCONN.


So are Sue Bird and the Storm coming to New York? Of course not... it's ridiculous.

Some people talk about Lauren Jackson from the Storm a lot too... but psht - she's totally no Sue Bird. Besides, she's Australian and as discussed earlier Aussies can lead to trouble...

P.S. I totally friended Sue Bird on MySpace after I Googled her for a link to put in this post... and I couldn't stop giggling for like five minutes after I clicked the "are you sure" link (no, I'm not drinking... yet). I'd be flattered to say the least if she accepted, but I'll let you all know what happens.

I guess I'll have to get tickets to see the Detroit Shock, and their head coach... Bill Laimbeer! No, I'm not kidding either. Bill Laimbeer, of "Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball" fame, is the head coach of the Shock!




I don't know about you all... but hearing the intro music, and then the actual gameplay music totally sent chills down my spine... I am so playing some combat basketball after this post is up.

Anybody else notice that the balls in the SNES game look a lot like WNBA balls? Coincidence or clairvoyance? Hmmm...

For those who are confused, the game is quite possibly one of the most ridiculous games ever made. Just watch the clip. It is so bad... it's good. Everything in the game is done with the same button, passing, shooting and attacking other players. This of course leads to trouble since the game doesn't always do what you wanted it to when you press "the button," but it is so awful that it becomes addicting.

Anywho... do you all think Bill Laimbeer would sign my SNES cartridge? Dear God I hope so.

I guess there's really only one way to find out...

Well, it sounds like I've convinced myself to try and go see the Shock when they come to town.

He may not be beautiful like Sue Bird, or a terminator robot like Diana Taurasi... but Bill Laimbeer is a pretty damn cool dude. I hear he even played in the NBA some years ago... and made a solid reputation as a "Bad Boy" in Detroit.

Maybe that's why Detroit hosted a WNBA on-court brawl last night...



Maybe they'll bring some brawl with them to Madison Square Garden... who knows?

Either way it should be neat... or at least interesting, right?