R-E-A-D-A-B-O-OK?

So I've been getting my read on a lot more since moving to the city, thanks to the whole subway commute thing. I even just finished reading a book on the history of cannibalism, Flesh and Blood: A History of the Cannibal Complex, that I got as a sort of oddball/gag gift in college... though I did go through that cannibalism phase for a bit there, hmm...

The first chapter conveniently reminds the reader that, according to the snooty and judgmental author, eating people is wrong. I think she's British.

I've read most all the books I had brought from home. I even bought a book (it was a really cool financial history of the world). Hell... I've even been reading from the library! The next book I'll read is call "Black and Tans." I bought it a long time ago for real cheap... I'm not sure why I bought it, it's not actually about booze.

Oh wait, it's about the British Special police in Ireland, so it's presumably about abusing Irish folk - Micks and Paddies and such. Now it all makes sense.

Now that I'm starting to get the reading thing down I think I'm going to try to incorporate all the life lessons in this video my buddy Emacy Gay, we just shorten it to Emacy, in Florida told me to check out. (NSFW... and apparently some people found this video made by BET to be shown on BET offensive :( some people are just no fun)




Oh man, some guy on the train last night obviously missed the part about deodorant. I think he was Eastern European or something. Holy crap, he smelled so bad my roommate and I actually got up and moved to the end of the train. We could only go one direction though because on the other side of the train was a ranting crazy hobo yelling gibberish and I think yelling that someone needed to be arrested, I'm not sure, but he pretty much cleared out his half of the train. As a fun bonus, he would yell out the doors to all people waiting on the platforms.

As for the whole reading thing... I even read a whole biography of Jack Daniel, which was pretty interesting - and leads nicely into my next point... apparently I can do shots again, which is probably not a good thing. The other night I went to Revival and learned that I could indeed down Jack Daniel's shots if the cute girls next me at the bar challenged me to do one with them. All down hill from there... then I took my roommate the wrong way on the subway and we ended up in Brooklyn.

Fast forward to Friday night where the shots were flowing all night (my roommate reminded me Saturday that it had been one of the bartenders' birthdays...)

I ended up staying longer than the roomie and ended up going the wrong way on the L train again... basically all night. I woke up in Canarsie at least twice. I kept falling asleep on the train and ending up in kind of the far east side of Brooklyn. Then I would say to myself I need to stay awake this time, then I'd wake up again at Canarsie (the last stop). It's a bad sign on the subway to wake up and see open space and trees out the window instead of subway walls (which tends to be indicative of being far from Manhattan) and an even worse sign to wake up and see sunlight out the train window...



I eventually got home around 9:30 Saturday morning. I found out later, that it was my luck that the train was under construction that night and wasn't even going my direction from Revival at all, so the whole thing was a measure in futility. Luckily, by the morning when I did stay awake enough to get all the way home, the late night construction messing up the L train was done for the night and they were back on the day schedule. So it was just all part of my plan.

I told Emacy about it and he was kind of enough to wonder aloud the next day that he bets hobos and other folks teabagged my sleeping self. :( I hadn't thought of that...

Also, I've been watching a lot of Hulu lately. It's pretty much like my new favorite site. I can watch all the Simpsons, Galactica 1980 (the awesome but short-lived sequel to Battlestar Galactica after they've found Earth, word), Charlie's Angels, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and whatever else I want!

They also have random clips, and I came across this random old Simpsons clip which is one of my all-time favorites...



And of course (especially for Crazy Carl), some Overheard, L train style...

Homey #1: Yo, hold up...Jesus was a virgin?! He went from 12 to 33 with nothing?
Homey #2: Fuck that shit. He definitely got his dick sucked or buttfucked some bitches.

--L Train, 8th Avenue


Black guy opening engineer's door after 15 minutes of standstill: Yo, move this shit, or I'll drive it myself!

--Canarsie-bound L train

Who knows, maybe a few weeks from now they'll be one looking like this:

Drunk guy wakes up: Canarsie, again!? Shit!

-- L Train

AL Champs, WORD!

I just got home from a neighborhood pub after watching the thrilling Rays game 7 win in the ALCS. How awesome is that!

World Series, here we come!!!!

P.S. I have a new superstition... When a friend of mine came up to the city and we went to see the D-Rays at Yankee Stadium, she brought me a Rays shot glass and mug, so I decided to bring the shot glass to the bar with me and do a shot every time the Rays scored (or did something that was just awesome, like end that eighth inning without giving up a run) in the Rays shot glass.

The bartenders look was priceless when I first explained my plan, but once he figured it out, he was cool with it... and as we all know, the Rays totally won the game!

The bar wasn't too well stocked, so eventually the shot ended up being one part vodka, one part peach schnapps and one part cranberry juice... pretty delicious if I do say so myself.

The important thing is that we won, and now I'll have to bring that shot glass to the bars with me as I watch the World Series... and see the bartenders' reactions, hehe.

But the real most important thing of course is Go Rays! Word dizzle!

The Lone Star State...

I got the Internet in my hotel, hooray!

It's been a while, and I gotsta get to sleep pretty soon so that means bullets...

First I went to Fort Worth, Texas, which was fairly laid back and I got to go hit the town and hit up some of the bars my friend from the area always talked up. They were a blast.

* One even had $2.50 Long Island Iced Teas... ridiculousness. I can't remember the last time I had that much to drink (literally). The only minus about that place was that they wouldn't sell me (alone) a pitcher of beer to save money. Oh well.

* I can't even describe how good the the Mexican food was at one of the places I went... though I have to admit I tried a different Mexican restaurant and its food tasted like dog food. You win some and you lose some, right?

* The folks were all really nice... including this one guy who struck up a conversation with me while he was waiting for a bus. I could probably write his bio with all the stuff he told me (it was only a ten-minute conversation, hehe). He told me several of his past jobs, family history and even the name of the hospital he as born in, ... weird.

After a few days though, I got sent down to the Houston area to roll up my sleeves and do some real work (12-hour days, 7 days a week, 30 days total) so I won't be doing much drinking or partying (or posting really) for about a month. Don't get me wrong, it's fun and interesting and I'm glad I'm here... it's just long hours and a lot of work.

Heck, my liver will probably enjoy the break and quality healing time.

Though I will say there isn't much to do around where I'm staying, and I don't have much time to do anything... I am staying near a Hooters though, which is a pretty big plus. Maybe by the time I leave, the girls at the bar will recognize me...

Well, work starts at 7, and I've got a driving commute again (I miss the subway, bad), so I've really got to hit the hay.

I'll be back!... eventually.

A friend from home, Law and Order, the Vag-ankees and toilet water definitely make for an interesting weekend...

So this weekend was definitely an interesting one.

First, on the way back to the office from lunch Friday, I noticed some commotion on the steps of the courthouse across the street from my office building. Upon further inspection, they were totally filming some "Law and Order" action since its steps are the ones you always see people on in the show.

Unfortunately I didn't see anybody I recognized, but whoever was there got
some schnazzy looking director's chairs to chill in.

It looks like they were filming some sort of press conference. You can't really see it in the picture, but the people were crowding around a guy standing at a podium.
So that afternoon, a friend of mine from back at USF flew in, which was cool. I hadn't seen her since last winter, so it was fun to catch up. We went to see the D-Rays at Yankee Stadium... twice! Granted the first time, our game got rained out... so we had to go back Saturday night.

The game was a lot of fun (though we lost), but it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get, right? As she'll probably tell you, I won on that front.

They had the final destination of this year's Vag-ankees team on
display right in the stadium.
P.S. Along with both being mature and taking the high road we found ways to include "gay" in every Yankees player's name (Bobby A-gay-u, Gay-Rod, Robinson Gay-no, etc... sometimes I miss middle school)... We also determined that the Devil Rays need to draft Oroku Saki and put him in the infield to complement Akinora Iwamura.

Though, unfortunately Saki might be on the DL for a while after getting jumped (like out of nowhere and for no reason!) by a group of crazy teenagers...



Sidenote... On the way to the game, we passed a bunch of kids playing in a spraying fire hydrant, which I always thought was strange. For a little while there in the middle of the summer, I saw kids playing in gallons and gallons of spraying hydrant water almost daily. Heck, in Florida we had lawn watering restrictions, so it's always crazy to me to see that.

Every time I see it though, part of me is just waiting for someone to come out of nowhere and start beating the crap out of someone on the street, a la "The Godfather."



That's why whenever I see the whole fire hydrant thing... I keep aware of my surroundings.

Anywho...

So, along with baseball, we did some barhopping and wandered around midtown and just had an overall good time. We even caught Brutus the Buckeye being naughty...

Maybe they were a bit distracted
during the USC game, hmmm...
So God decided to make sure the weekend stayed interesting even after my friend flew back to Tampa, I kept busy all day Sunday in the bathroom... since that afternoon my toilet clogged and flooded out the bathroom... twice. The room filled with toilet water, I cleaned it up, then it filled again. That was weak... and gross. I'm pretty sure my neighbors heard me yelling obscenities as it flooded the second time. I was quite pissed.

Don't worry, I have no pictures of that to post, as it wasn't too pleasant.

It was extra weak because it made me miss the WNBA game I was going to go to to get Bill Laimbeer's autograph at. I guess that will have to wait until next year.

I've never been to a WNBA game, and while I've heard people talk trash about them I'd venture to say they are probably more fun than being on your knees cleaning up toilet water.

On another interesting note, my work is going to send me to Texas for either a couple of weeks or a whole month to help with Hurricane Ike related work... so that should be interesting. I'll probably leave by the end of the week. I'm not quite sure yet how exactly that will impact the posting and such, but we'll see.

I'm really excited, I think it will be interesting...

So the local club across the street is slapstick awful...

Quick update...

I explored another new neighborhood the other night, the Meatpacking District. It's supposed to be this ubertrendy area with upscale bars...

While wandering around, I'm about 95-100 percent certain I walked by Tim Meadows, from SNL,... so that was kind of neat. The "Lady's Man" was out with a lady friend.

The Meatpacking District was alright, I could see it being more fun with a group of people.

I didn't stay out too late, so when I got home the club across from my apartment was still open. I still hadn't checked it out yet, so I wandered over,

Oh my God was it lame. They try to project this fancy image, but it was the saddest thing I've seen since coming to the city. The worse part is that there is a line out there on a lot of nights... It's also only open on weekend nights, which is kind of odd. I wonder how they stay in business, but I probably don't want to know...

Anyway, so I walk to the front door and a bouncer in a full suit cards me. Then I go inside, and there are two more bouncers and a girl taking money.

They tell me there's a $20 cover. Ha! I ask if that was every night or if tonight was special... they tell me that's every night.

I kindly tell them that I have no interest in paying a $20 cover. As I start leaving, they say I can go in for free... (I think they were just trying to fleece me for cash, but they epic failed... I sincerely doubt they usually charge $20 admission).

Next I get a full pat down for weapons, an odd little surprise, then I go through a big curtain to the club... the very, very empty club. It was dark and had loud Spanish music playing, which makes sense... but there was nobody dancing or anything.

There were a couple pairs of people at the bar, and that was about it. There was more staff than clubgoers.

It gets better. I figure, that I'd order at least one drink and see how things play out. I order a rum and coke and just chill. It was the worst drink I've ever had. I couldn't even finish half of it. I guess it was just clear rum on the rocks with a splash of cola... I don't even know. It was just gross.

After a while, I gave up on sipping my nasty beverage and asked to cash out.

$12! For one rum and coke. Who'd have thought the most expensive drink I've found in the city so far would be an awful rum and coke at a feaux trendy dance club in my little Dominican neighborhood.

I actually chuckled when she told me.

Heck, the actual trendy club I went to in the fancy pants Meatpacking District wasn't nearly that expensive. I got a Maker's Mark and an import beer and it came to $14 for the two... and people were saying the drinks were expensive on the cruise, hehe.

Also, I found a bar in SoHo that has free beer-cooked hot dogs on Wednesdays... so you know where I'll be Wednesdays. They were actually pretty good.

I had fun this weekend, but it looks like I missed out on some Central Park fun...

So I had originally planned to go to Central Park a couple times this weekend to jog and explore, but instead I got lazy and mostly drank the weekend away... which was tons of fun, but apparently I missed topless day at Central Park! (NSFW)

I really did have plans to spend most of the weekend exploring the park and getting familiar with it... oh well. Win some, lose some I guess. It would have been the perfect excuse to be gross and jog topless too. Maybe it's best that I didn't end up at topless day... as things like that have ended poorly in the past.

As has become normal when I've been lazy and not posting too often, I'll do bullets...

* Friday night I went barhopping around Columbia, which is in the Upper West Side (just not nearly as "way upper" as where I am. It was interesting, and I swear the couple next to me at the first bar was a professor and a student. It was an old WASPy looking dude and a 19-year-old looking Asian girl. That was totally a "Law and Order: SVU" episode waiting to happen.

* Saturday was the Upper East Side with MM. We went to this piano bar where we ran into an uber-celebrity! He's so huge... I didn't even know who he was. That's a whole new strata of celebritude. It was Doug Wilson! Yeah, THE Doug Wilson.

Apparently he's on "Trading Spaces" on TLC.

I would have had no idea who he was, except another guy at the bar excitedly asked me "Is that Doug Wilson from 'Trading Spaces' over there!"

I think I said something to the effect of "I have no idea, but I bet he knows, let me ask..."

He was a friendly guy, I think he was a regular there.

* Another bar we went to was kind of interesting... as soon as I walked in the guy who had been playing the bongo drum grabbed me and sat me down at the bongo and said "play." Play I did, just some sort of random beat that hopefully had something to do with the beat (though most likely not... the night was well underway at that point).

I must have been really loud though, because my fingers are like bruised... weird. They also had a hula-hoop competition... I did not win. I know, you're shocked.

I chatted up the owners for a bit, asking them where they recommend in Chinatown... turns out they were from Taiwan and loathe Chinatown - oops. Again, win some, lose some, right?

* Then we went to a new bar and watched the men's basketball gold medal match... while closer than it should have been, we still dominated. The only takeaway from the game is that Pao Gasol is a complete beeyatch. Word.

* I really should start carrying my camera around... but I've said that before. This weekend I heard "Beat It" blaring at the subway station and a big crowd had gathered, so I check it out and sure enough there's midget dressed up in full MJ garb, with the white glove and everything moonwalking around the station.


It was basically the same as this clip, except a midget in that outfit, and fewer people, and just a boombox, and no spotlights or special effects, and it probably smelled worse, and... well, the only things that were the same were the outfit and the creepy factor.
* The other strange sight was a man walking near Chinatown around lunchtime today wearing a sandwich sign covered in too many words to possibly make any sense, like "Bloomberg," "school," "Child-torture" and about thirty other random words. He kept hitting a cowbell and chanting "Arrest Bloomberg. Arrest Bloomberg." That's the mayor, Michael Bloomberg in case you're wondering. I bet the weirdo would be none too pleased if Bloomie successfully beat the city's term limits and got re-elected.

I know, I'm a slacker... a few random things from the past week...

Well, I'm aware that I've been a total slacker lately, but I've been like and alcoholic hair product this whole past week. Get hammered, recover from hangover, repeat. Unfortunately, keeping up that kind of schedule doesn't leave much time for blogging.

Since it's been a while I'll just throw out some random things from the past week or so, which included Thanatos coming up this weekend and us hanging out with another roommate of ours from USF, who I'll just call MM. He lives in the Upper East Side now.

* During the week, I went out for some serious boozing with MM. The few random things I remember... doing some sort of street dancing/break dancing with these dudes outside of a bar... somewhere (I have no idea what part of town that was in) and grabbing drinks at Beauty Bar. They had a manicurist on staff and had a deal where a manicure was $10 and it comes with a free martini.

* I was introduced to Country Club malt liquor this weekend, which was fun. MM and I picked up a couple of 40's (still always a novelty since in Florida you can't get anything bigger than a "32," which is lame).

I'm not going to lie and say it was delicious, heck - when I opened the bottle it smelled like it farted, but it did provide us with endless entertainment in many ways.

Someone made a MySpace page for the malt liquor and it's pretty goofy.

Who I'd like to meet:
I'd like to meet "real" drinkers. The kind of person who likes to go to the store and pick up a ice cold and frosty Country Club 40oz. and drink it right in the parking lot. That's right, you don't have time to wait until you get home.

Or "his" TV Interests:

Television I remember the episode of Sesame Street where Burt came home after a long day and went right to the fridge. Well, guess what? Yup, Ernie had drank up all of Burts 40oz and was face down on the carpet. Needless to say, Burt beat the shit outta Ernie that day. I think the letter of the day was P....for Pain.

Hopefully Country Club malt liquor will accept my friend request, unlike Sue Bird. That hurt deep, but somehow I think I'll pull through.

* Besides, there are bigger things to worry about in this city, like C.H.U.D., Cannabalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.

We spent a lot of time underground, both on and off trains, so we had to be extra cautious this weekend due to the constant threat of C.H.U.D.



* Thanatos and I stumbled on the Hell's Kitchen Flea Market, which was pretty cool. They had all kinds of weird things for sale, ranging from records to those old-timey two-piece telephones to a 1990 Batcopter toy complete with a picture of Michael Keaton on the box.

I was able to behave myself and left with just one thing, the Godfather soundtrack on record. There's some quality music in that movie, like the "Godfather Waltz" -



* We totally set back my health efforts by about two or three months at least. Along with copious amounts of booze and other random food, including of course the malt liquor, we had Hooters, KFC and White Castle. Those are not places known for their healthy options.

*Oh yeah, I successfully got my transit subsidy worked out... I just had to get turned away from a bunch of seemingly legit places first.

* Also, thanks for all the birthday wishes and such!

You say Czech Republic and I say Czechoslovakia (which makes me wrong)

So I decided to hit the town after work yesterday... which ended up being a lot of fun, but made work not nearly as much fun today.

Originally I was going to catch a concert at this bar right near where I work.

As I got closer I noticed this big line of people waiting outside the club, and as I got closer, I realized it was like 95 percent girls... which is not a minus to say the least. But, as I got even closer, I realized the club did not have an age limit and they ranged from tweens (some with their humorously unexcited looking fathers) on up to mid-twenties... I figured that probably wouldn't be the best place to go so I wandered to the Village and kept exploring.

Eventually I ended up at a bar with some friends from USF, which was fun. I spent a good part of the evening talking to this girl who was in town from the Czech Republic.

I pulled a John McCain and mistakenly referred to her as being from the now defunct Czechoslovakia. She quickly reminded me that country no longer exists.

Still? I thought for sure by now they'd have hooked up and had some crazy makeup sex by now, oh well...

I also mentioned something about European geography and was way off, and I got called out on that too. I explained to her that we don't need to learn European geography here on this side of the Atlantic and asked her if she knew the geography of our states. Luckily she laughed at most of the crazy jingotastic jokes I made rather than smack me in the face... I probably get away with a lot more than I should sometimes, but I digress...

I wish I had thought to ask her if she was a fan of Eastern Europe's favorite cat and mouse team - Worker and Parasite! ...



The night, which ended up costing a bit, also got me to thinking about finances. I'm definitely doing fine at the moment money-wise, but the more I go out drinking, the more cash I'm hemorrhaging and at some point that might cause some trouble. I really need to reign in the spending, whether it's from drinking, eating out, or just buying things for the apartment - it all keeps adding up.

So I've decided to try something out. Until next weekend (except Wednesday, my birthday!), I'm not going to spend another damn cent. I'm going to prepare every meal at home, not go out drinking, no Chinatown for lunch... heck, not even pick up a 50 cent New York Post on the way to work in the morning. Nothing!

I was totally rocking out to Candy Girl in one of the bars I went to yesterday...



I was just thinking, maybe I'll pick it up for 99 cents on iTunes, what's 99 cents, right? Nope, that's 99 cents too many. I guess my need for a New Edition fix came at a bad time. Oh well, somehow I think I'll survive... even though it really is a fun little ditty...

I'm still debating whether I'll skip doing laundry this Saturday morning too... we'll see.

I'm already planning some thrifty tactics to make this work. Like I'm going to go to get a library card Saturday morning and get a new (free) book to read on my commute instead of the Post. Hopefully it will be better than With a Tangled Skein, a chill just went down my spine thinking of that "book"...

That reminds me, maybe if I can find some sort of abridged children's version with tons of pictures I might pick up Pride and Prejudice. The poll showed that six people had read the book and five had only seen a film version. Either way, in my drunkenness I forgot that the debate was actually over whether all girls had read the book... and the poll didn't specify anything about that, so it was kind of useless I suppose. Oh well.

If I limited it to just women, it probably would have gotten confusing anyway, having to do the math to calculate the results of all those partial votes... I'll just consider that bullet dodged.

Side note: I passed by an epic dominoes match walking home today. These two old guys had a table set up on the sidewalk and they actually had a fairly loud (for dominoes I suppose) crowd watching intently. It was a little odd. It also reminded me that I can't remember the last time I played dominoes and I'm not even sure I even remember how to play.

Quick update on Lisa's visit...

So after work today, Lisa and I went to the bar with the nipple burgers... that bartender wasn't there, but we still had a good time shooting pool and playing darts.

Speaking of darts... I totally owned Lisa...

Mmmm... take that!

That sums up today's post since it's about bedtime... I just figured it would only be appropriate to announce Lisa's shame... and now the deed is done.

Bullets from a fun weekend...

So some friends were in town this weekend and we relaxed, had a few drinks, behaved ourselves and philosophized about the current state of the civilized world and whatnot.

Well, sort of.

Another way of looking at it might be that we drank all weekend and went all over town from bar to bar causing varying degrees of trouble. We really did go all over the place, so I'll just mention some of the more random things (that I can remember)...

* So bar hopping was a little interesting when we were near NYU... because they tend to card more. Normally presenting ID isn't an issue, but when I recently applied for my New York state driver's license they made me surrender my old license... leaving me without a picture ID.

What I did have, as far as something government-issued that had my birthday on it, was my draft card.

In case you were wondering, about half of the bars on Bleecker Street near NYU checking ID at the entrance let me in using my draft card (draft cards don't have pictures on them in case you didn't know). The other half hate America.

It definitely made for some interesting conversations with the bouncers, most of whom had not registered with the Selective Service System (despite the fact that the law says, with a few exceptions, all males 18-25 must register). Then again, we were right by NYU, so I shouldn't be terribly surprised I guess.

Overall though, it didn't come up too much, since there wasn't too much carding throughout the weekend.

* We went to one bar that had a family of mice living behind the bar... but don't worry, I'm pretty sure they were friendly mice. The bartenders were friendly too, even though I could tell they were a little miffed when they came back from the bathroom to find me heading behind the bar trying to catch the mice. I figure they would make good pets, right?

They were also none too pleased (but still nice) when I pretended to try to get a drink from the Corona lava lamp... come to think of it, they had the patience of saints. Hmmm, if any of us remembers the name of the place, we'll have to go back.

* We went to the home of the best General Tso's chicken in Chinatown for lunch Saturday. Next time I go there, I'll have to get a side order of something we noticed that kind of stuck out on the menu... "duck's blood with yellow chives."

Part of me says it will probably be inedible, like the jellyfish we got there last time, but the other part of me is just fascinated, so we'll see what happens with that...

Sidenote - our fortune cookies were served to us on a bed of sliced oranges... which I had never seen before, there or anywhere else.

* I was exposed for the first time to Concrete TV, which is glorious. Oversimplified, it is this public access show in New York where all kinds of totally random scenes are mashed together into these crazy montages and set to music.

The clips are all over the place, they range from scenes from Barney to people getting run over by cars to porn scenes to newscast snippets to absolutely anything you can imagine under the sun. Hell, I think they had a snippet from JEM and the Holograms.



This is just one random sample... DO NOT WATCH THIS AT THE OFFICE! (along with the random stuff, there's naked folks interspersed...)

An old roommate from USF who lives in the Upper East Side had the DVDs of the show. it was great. He even had one episode that was entirely comprised of essentially just people getting hit by cars and set to a cover of the Jimi Hendrix classic "Crosstown Traffic" and Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping" (I get knocked down..., that one).

For some reason, (though admittedly we weren't even close to sober at that point) I couldn't get enough of clips of people being hit by cars. I couldn't stop laughing and was in tears watching it... the other guys might have been a little worried at how much I was laughing at those clips.

I was kind of like when Homer had to watch the Troy McClure video of car crashes at traffic school ("Here's an appealing fellow... in fact, they're a peeling him off the sidewalk.") Everybody else is mortified and Homer is cracking up ... "It's funny cuz I don't know him." Truer words were never spoken.

* I'd be sad if I forgot to mention that Lisa and I resumed our epic Blades of Steel rivalry. My Toronto Maple Leafs, of course, dominated his feeble Montreal Canadiens.

* We did go to the nipple-burger bar near where I work, but nothing crazy happened. The bartender from before wasn't there then. We just had some uber-cheap PBR's and hung out, it was relatively early and thus quite.

* We also had some beers at the microbrewery under the Empire State Building... that was kind of cool. FYI -they have really good cheese fries. We also learned there's a KFC right near the Empire State Building too, which is comforting to know.

* We went to the site of the old CBGB's punk club, which is now an ultra-trendy designer clothes boutique catering to the (with those prices, apparently well-to-do) hipster crowd. The situation is really kind of sad.

Along with the stunningly overpriced shirts, they sold mint condition used records selling for around a $100 a piece. Some looked pretty familiar, since I have copies at my apartment (though admittedly many are not in good enough condition to be considered sold as "collectibles" like theirs). They also sell antique (read: used, and old as crap) stereo receivers, like the 1975 hand-me-down receiver I use. They ranged from $500 to $1,000. The same ones probably sell at Goodwill for $10... but the world is filled with very, very stupid people with too much money... so why not try to get some of it, right? I'm going to try to sell the store my receiver and maybe some records too and see what happens with that.

* I really need to remember to bring my camera everywhere with me. Today's subway ride home was interesting, to say the least. Toward the end of the ride, a high school drumline and group of dancerettes got on the train... which isn't too strange... unless they're all dressed in hospital-themed costumes. The musicians were all wearing scrubs, and the dancers were all wearing matching naughty-nurse outfits (maybe it was good I didn't bring my camera then... since they were all teens...). The teacher/band director was wearing a white lab coat and stethoscope.

One stop away from them getting off, they just randomly decided to all start drumming and salsa dancing on the train... it was incredibly strange - and loud.

There was also a homeless guy on my train for a while begging for money... which is also not too unusual... but he decided to keep things interesting. He basically approached guys individually and would half whisper "Hey, you look like you've got a big dick," and then he would present his change cup. (I assume it was an attempt to flatter some money out of riders. I know I was flattered... but not flattered enough.

I assume either he had some serious issues in the head or that he was totally faking it... sad either way I suppose.

Besides, I had already exhausted my money-for-strangers-on-the-train budget for the day by giving a dollar to an a cappella group that did a really fun version of "Stand by Me" on the 6 train earlier.

The 6 train is on the East side... so the East side apparently gets performances of golden oldies while my train on the West side gets homeless people commenting on my girth... I guess that's the difference between the East and West sides.

Well, I guess that's all I can think of off the top of my head... it's bedtime anyway... we didn't go to bed terribly early these past couple of nights to say the least.

A couple of quick things from today...

I actually hadn't planned on posting anything today, but in New York City, weird stuff just keeps happening....

So I checked out this dive bar I've been meaning to try for a while. I noticed it near the office and had read good things about it online. It was actually pretty cool. It was laid back, with cheap food and drinks (cheap Pabst by the can - always a plus). I got the summer intern in the office to come along with me too, which was cool.

I'm not going to lie, the first thing I noticed when I walked in was the bartender, who literally had breasts the size of your head. Judging by her look and accent, I want to say she was like Croatian, or some other kind of Eastern European.

Now, a ridiculously endowed bartender is really not too uncommon, but this bartender wasn't content hiding the gals away behind her sports bra (masquerading as a "top")... she periodically let them out for air, which was a surprise to say the least.

We were first treated to them as we tried to order some cheeseburgers from her.

I guess we stumbled on the bar's secret code, apparently cheeseburgers = ta-tas. Makes sense to me.

So we order the burgers, and the bartender (in her broken English) tried to explain to us that they were small, like sliders. We were confused, so she decides to use a visual aid and tells us they're "very small, like these..." then she proceeds to flash us and point to her nipple as a size example.

She didn't lie. Sure enough, they were indeed nipple-sized sliders.

I'm pretty sure after that she showed them off to various other groups up and down the bar.

I'm going to hazard to guess she generally does well in the tips department.

Even without taking into account the exhibitionist bartender, it was a cool little bar with good prices and we shot the shit with the other guys who came in and had a lot of fun, so I think I'll be going back. Plus the bartender was a goofy bonus.

I wonder what was going through my coworker's head after I invited him to this bar? I'm sure he thinks I'm the pinnacle of class, right? Oh well...

So after having a few drinks at the bar, I decided to go grocery shopping on the way home.

All I have in my kitchen is some spices, booze and some water in the fridge. I figured it's about time to start stocking up on some actual foodstuffs and the like.

So I finally went to the big grocery store in my neighborhood... it was kind of strange though. Until today, I've been the lone non-Dominican everywhere I've visited in my neighborhood... but at this grocery store I was the lone Gentile.

At least that means I probably was getting a decent deal, right? (I'm going to hell, and I know it... oh well...)

My main purpose was to get the basics for cold cuts, so I went straight to the deli counter.

It was a little counter run by a kid with a yarmulke... after I noticed that, I noticed that I was totally the only guy in line without one.

I was the lone naked-headed weirdo. I wasn't styling and profiling at all... maybe I'll have to add one to my wardrobe.

It turns out it I was at the kosher deli... I didn't realize until I was heading out that it wasn't the only deli in the store. There was apparently also a whole other regular deli counter on the opposite side of the store.

No matter, that just means I'll just have much more blessed sandwiches for the next couple of weeks.

Also, it turns out the grocery store is where all the beautiful girls in the neighborhood are hiding... so that's a good thing to know.

I'll have to study up on Lethal Weapon II for tips on how to pick up women at the grocery store... though Mel Gibson himself might not be overly welcome at this particular store.

Well, just another day in the city...