Monday, July 14, 2008

Back in the city after a super fun cruise... in my very empty apartment...

So I've got lots of random things to write about from the past week and a half, but I'll probably keep each thing fairly brief since my head is kind of all over the place today... but here goes...

So I did eventually got back to my apartment in Washington Heights which is a plus. It just involved the AirTrain, subway and a shuttle bus because the tracks were being repaired (it took me a while to figure that one out) The train stopped before my stop and I was just sitting there listening to my iPod and the conductor had to yell at me to get me off.

How was I supposed to know they were arbitrarily going to stop four stops earlier than every other day... the signs plastered everywhere on the train and in the stations? Psh, please... reading is for the weak.

When I got home, the apartment was just like I left it. Barren. It has a nice echo though, and you can't beat the interior decorating... the fresh coat of white paint on all the walls and doors goes quite well with the white/slightly off-white linoleum floors.

It has electricity and water and the stuff I had in my car when I was in Maryland and the Pentagon... so mainly just clothes and toiletries essentially... and whatever useless junk I decided I needed that took like, two years to unpack out of my car two weeks ago when I first moved in a couple weeks ago.

So I have made a lovely bed on my linoleum floor made out of my winter clothes... it's not terribly comfortable, but the price is right. I talked with the movers this afternoon and they said the soonest they could get me my stuff was Saturday, and I said sign me the hell up. My butt can't roll with the hard floor too much longer. I think my tailbone is bruised, but I maintain that is from my buddy's Irish Pub birthday bash Saturday night in Tampa (in the wee night hours between getting in from the cruise and flying out to JFK)... possibly more on that later...

The lack of a bed? I can roll with that... there are a few other things lacking that I'm kind of having to work around... like a shower curtain (I made kind of a wet mess in the bathroom this morning to say the least), or any kind of curtains or blinds for that matter. Every room has a window, and nothing covering them. I am pretty sure I mistakenly showed everyone on Broadway the goods this morning.

The only place not visible to the outside at the moment is the bathroom and in the hallway between the two bedrooms, if I close their doors. That's what I'm using as my makeshift bedroom at the moment.

I'll have cable and internet come Thursday, so that's a plus. I'm actually still at the office trolling things like Facebook and updating this to keep myself distracted.

Oh yeah, and apartments in the city rarely come with air conditioning, mine included. Normally I would just open the windows, but along with having no curtains or blinds, they also have no screen to obstruct the view of me getting dressed or to keep bugs out.

I know where to get screens though, so that shouldn't be a problem... they were just closed Sunday.

So that's essentially the apartment situation in a nutshell barren bomb shelter for the moment, lush with cable, internet and household goods Saturday... things are starting to come together...

So the cruise was a blast to say the least. Along with my buddy from Philly who I roomed with, there was more than 20 or so family and friends on board. I love my family, we do our best to always have a good time and this trip was no exception.

While there are of course plenty of ridiculous stories, I'll just throw a few fun ones in...

The main one that will likely haunt me for the rest of my days is my chance to be an Elvis impersonator in front of probably somewhere between 500 and 1,000 cruisegoers.

It started innocently enough with showing up drunk to karoake... which is nothing unusual, right? Somehow I ended up winning, by default an Elvis karaoke competition. The real winner quit... because he was much, much smarter than me.

Basically, a cute girl said I should sing an Elvis song, and logically I thought to myself, that sounds like a great idea, not realizing at all what I was getting into.

Next thing I know, I wake up the next morning with a plastic bag by my bed... and my first thoughts when I saw it were "What the hell is that?"

What it was, was the bag they gave me after I won the Elvis competition with a little iPod thing in it with big headphones (I had to return the iPod thing and headphones) and very detailed instructions for my role in the final production of the cruise.


The instructions said I was to learn the song on the music player (a medley of Jailhouse Rock and Hounddog) and be ready to perform it on stage during the final production of the cruise with the orchestra playing and dancers... without lyrics on a monitor. It was part of a show where they trick about nine other drunks into playing "Legends" in their final show, including folks like Britney Spears, James Brown, Frank Sinatra, etc...

I got to wear a white studded jumpsuit, an Elvis whig and some pimptacular sunglasses and perform (hammered of course).

The important thing is that it's over and... well, that's about all that counts.

Actually it was pretty fun, but also very strange to say the least.

Sidenote... after I "won" the Elvis Karaoke competition, I was at the ship's dance club called, no joke, "White Heat" and this cougar starts kind of dancing with me and hitting on me saying she liked my singing of Elvis. We started talking and when she came to the gripping realization that I was born long after Elvis died she said she was too old for me... to which I looked straight at her and drunkenly responded in a very confident-meets-sleazy-70's-swinger kind of tone "Well... I beg to differ." (remember, I was drunk enough that night to enter an Elvis karaoke competition) That conversation didn't last too much longer, but at least she got a good laugh.

Also, if anyone tells you anything about me in a topless dancing competition, just remember they're full of lies.

Actually, unfortunately, the above sentence is a lie... my uncle roped me into a hairy chest/dance like an idiot competition one afternoon, which was pretty bad.

I was eliminated after the pole dancing competition in the second round.

The best part about the hairy chest competition of course was that they videotaped it, and made a little montage music video of it and looped it on one of the closed circuit channels in all the cabins (along with some other events), clearly to make sure there was no escaping the eternal shame. They also sold DVDs of their montages of events from the week... unfortunately between that and Elvis, I won't ever be running for office.

I'm also a little worried about what kind of photos from the week will be ending up on Facebook, hmmm...

Oh yeah, the Irish Pub party I mentioned earlier was hellafun to say the least. You know it is going to be an interesting night when the DD pulls up to pick up the last person (the birthday boy as it were) and he has a round of triple shots of Irish Whiskey already set up and ready to be downed.

I don't remember too many specifics, but it would not surprise me if I fell on my tailbone at some point during the evening...

Well, I guess that's it for now... As you can tell I try to keep things boring...

I'll try to post again once I get the Internet going on in my apartment.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

WOW.....So, Chris, is showing his goods to all of Broadway? Nice.

Thanks for the laugh by the way. The photos to support this blog, on Facebook, were even better!! LOL