Thursday, February 18, 2010

Area woman extremely proud on Facebook that she works out, exists

Tampa -- A local IT specialist has proven to both friends and strangers alike, via the Internet, that she loves to work out and especially loves to talk about it, while also providing a disturbing trend of reminding the world she does indeed exist.

Michelle Lammom, 26, frequently regales friends about her workout habits via the social networking site Facebook, often posting at least one to two "status updates" per day featuring announcements like "Wow, I worked out hard today" and "Today's workout was rough, the guys at the clubs better notice these results."

"If I'm going to work my ass off in the gym, I at least want someone to know since I mostly workout to impress my guy friends," Lammom said. "Someday, one of them will realize how I really feel about them, and when that happens I want them to know how much I work out, you know?"

A quick look at Ms. Lammom's Facebook posting habits reveal that while workout posts are a dominant theme, they can sometimes be overshadowed by frequent announcements about her dinner plans (often alone) or even just sharing overall feelings of boredom with the world.

"I feel it's important that my Facebook friends know exactly what I'm doing at any given point, whether it's eating fast food, working out for the boys or just crying in the corner in a fetal position while fantasizing about sexy little hobbits with fabulous rings," said Lammom. " I mean, that's pretty much the whole point of Facebook, right?"

Some, however, would beg to differ on the idea that Facebook posts exist merely to prove as a reminder of one's existence.

"I'm really worried about her," said John Otiston, a local friend. "Most people talk about interesting things they've done or seen, or at least their damn virtual farms and shit. I mean, working out and masturbating to hobbits? Who gives a shit, right?"

Who gives a shit indeed, at least according to a recent Gallup poll that is. The poll shows that 82 percent of straight Americans do not want to hear more than two updates a week regarding a friend's workout habits.

Interestingly enough though, out of the homosexuals that participated in the poll, 66 percent said they like to hear about their friends' workout activity and a stunning 93 percents like to frequently post about their workout schedules.