Saturday, June 6, 2009

KFC's new grilled chicken? EPIC FAIL

Epic Fail

I tried KFC's new grilled chicken and it is with a heavy heart that I must report the blandness and overall lameness of KFC's newest endeavor. They have spent an exorbitant amount of money promoting this new product, but perhaps they should spent some of that cash giving the new product some flavor.

For whatever reason, as I understood it, I thought the new grilled chicken was supposed to have a taste somewhat similar to and based on the same amazing flavors as the colonel's original recipe - just without a delicious fried skin. Unfortunately the new grilled chicken did not have the amazingly woven tapestry of sometimes even described as "arousing" flavors as original recipe chicken... in fact, it had no flavor. Col. Sanders is probably rolling over in his grave in Louisville. Even if its taste not supposed to have any relation to the 11 herbs and spices, they should have attempted to give it some kind of flavor.

Words can't describe the numbing disappointment at biting into the grilled chicken breast and tasting... nothing. In the flavor department, it was almost like a chicken breast from the supermarket that was casually thrown on a backyard grill with no preparation or even the most minimal thought. I will say it was juicy, which goes in the plus column... but that's about all that can legitimately go in that column... a lonely and shame filled column indeed.

The even greater concern is the rumblings that corporate KFC plans to rebrand the companies image to reflect fried and grilled chicken as on the same footing in an attempt to cater to the yuppie crowd that prefers the flavorless to the delicious...

KF&GC? That sounds like something out of the Book of Revelations if you ask me.

Those who know me best know that I have a profound, even oft considered disturbing, passion for Kentucky Fried Chicken and its lore. That is why it pains me to pan their newest product, especially when they seem to have spent so much time and treasure trying to promote its virtues.

Please, don't make my mistake and indulge in an entire meal's worth of KFC's grilled chicken, lest you be resigned to an incomparable disappointment so profound that you may not even be able to perform in the bedroom for a time due to the extreme sadness that is bound to follow. Yes, the new grilled chicken was such a tremendous emotional let down that I'm implying it could in extreme cases lead to temporary impotence.

Perhaps I'll have to add a tear rolling down the Colonel's face to this piece
of artwork decorating my apartment.


SR said...

at least their instant potatoes and orange mac and cheese are still in tact...

Alex said...

I've had the grilled chicken twice and enjoyed it. The first time it was a bit mediocre, but on the second occasion it was much better. So far, it really seems to be hit or miss. Sadly, I have to say that sometimes with fast food you just get shit...perhaps you lost that game of Kentucky roulette? Regardless, you should probably go to a doctor for the impotence probably isn't the chicken :(