I think I may have laundered money today... maybe I should ask the Office Space guys?

So, I signed the lease for my apartment in Washington Heights today... and I can move in tomorrow, so that's pretty awesome.

All I had to do was bring about $3,000 worth of bank certified checks for various things (first month's rent, security deposit, etc...) The only problem is my bank (along with my vast fortune of course) is in Florida.

Hmmm...

So I also have a checking account with Bank of America, which is almost as common as Starbucks in some parts of New York, so I go there and start trying to figure how to get $3,000 in my hands in New York City asap... without catching gonnhasyphyherpeles from some random stranger in Chinatown.

I talk on the phone with my bank in Florida and they can't help me get my money in any way shape or form. No surprise, they've been as useless as my appendix lately.

So instead they tell me to take a cash advance on my debit card, and assure me not to worry because there's no limit. Sounds too good to be true right? Well it of course was.

So I go to the counter at the BofA and ask for a cash of advance for just over $3,000... and it comes back denied... which is pretty damn embarrassing to say the least. Teller #1 then tells me I need to call my bank in Florida again to figure out what's wrong.

I do, the different person says I do indeed have a limit, and it happens to be exactly $3,000. So I go back to the counter, and get teller #2. I try to be subtle and not too loud in asking for $3,000 cash money, but she's a little hard of hearing and has to doublecheck the amount... "$3,000 you say, right?" she nearly yells from the safety of being behind her bullet-proof glass. I'm sure a a couple people in the not so empty place glanced our direction.

Awesome.

So she gives me this wad of cash that barely fits in my wallet and makes my wallet barely fit in my back pocket and I start wandering the streets of New York City.

I really do feel relatively safe in NYC in general. I figure if something is going to happen to me, it is going to happen to me anyway no matter where I am... but wandering around the city with thousands of dollars in cash bulging out of my ass left me a little uneasy as I walked to the subway to head toward the apartment complex.

So I go into a different bank and ask if I could use the cash to get bank certified checks, and they tell me only a bank I have an account with can do that. I'm a writer, not a banker, I know jack about these simple banking matters.

Then a lightbulb goes on in my head and I go back to the BofA. I have an account there.

I get teller #3 (conveniently situated right between tellers 1 and 2) and ask if I can now deposit my fresh just out of the bank 3 g's cash money. If she hadn't seen me just cash advance the money from the girl next to her, she probably would have assumed I was a drug dealer. Luckily, she just thought I was a confused moron instead.

So then she takes the cash back, puts it in my account and then takes it right back out to make some certified checks for the apartment folk.

So long story short, I went to a bank and magically created $3,000, deposited it into my checking account with the same bank and then produced certified checks from the same bank.

No wonder so many people are in so much financial trouble. Once I figured out what I was doing, that was just way too easy.

Anywho...

So my wrist has been hurting. I started thinking, and I realized the only dairy I've had since I got here was the cheese on pizza and cheeseburgers... so I'm convinced it's from a lack of calcium. Maybe I'll have to start drinking white russians once I get over this quasi-cold. Every little bit counts right?

Also, I'm still feeling a bit under the weather in general. So to fight that, I've been downing virgin screwdrivers like there's no tomorrow at work.

Gratuitous Chinatown mention...

Also... I went to Chinatown for lunch again today on the way to signing my lease...

Eating in Chinatown is an interesting thing. There are so many restaurants and no way to really pick... so usually something has to catch your attention. There is usually some sort of sign that points to the "right" place to eat.

Today, the decision was pretty much made for me. As I was walking down Canal Street, I saw a cook hop out of the back of a truck with a whole dead hog heaved over his shoulder and I totally followed him to his restaurant. I could still see a big blood stain on the pigs not-so-smiling face as it bounced up and down on the guy's shoulder.

So tomorrow should be pretty busy with the whole sort of moving in thing, so it's time to hit the hay...

P.S. The Devil Rays are currently number one in the AL East right now, in case you didn't know...

Word?

"So much is going on this week that your head will spin"

So, according to the New York Daily News, my horoscope says "So much is going on this week that your head will spin."

That's a good sign. I was worried things might slow down and I'd be able to relax a bit. Thank goodness the stars say I was wrong on that one.

I know I'll need to finalize my apartment lease, barring anything getting messed up (which just wouldn't surprise me at this point). I'll also need to get "moved in" to that apartment by the end of Tuesday, including getting my car from New Jersey over to Washington Heights and unloading it in time to start heading down to Florida first thing Wednesday morning...

At least the end of the week will be the beginning of a family reunion cruise, so that should be relaxing and fun, right?

Anyway...

Saturday started out pretty slow, mostly because I've actually been kind of sick... which probably isn't helped by the constant drinking, but what do I know, I'm not a doctor or anything.

So I found another Hell's Kitchen bar that was pretty fun. They don't have a kitchen, but instead they offer takeout/delivery menus and let folks bring whatever they want in. It can end up being a lot cheaper than most of the other bars nearby. The guys next to me all ordered a whole pizza delivered.

The bar got bonus points because they had a USF pennant on the wall... though when I asked about it, the bartender told me they just have every school's banner... it wasn't a terribly large bar, and I doubt even the NCAA headquarters has every school's banner, you know?

So I get a call from Lisa, he and his girlfriend have come to the city to see a ballet and want to do dinner. I of course have been slumming it in a dive bar watching baseball and wearing some random free I gave blood T-shirt. (I'm pretty much out of laundry)

They're tons of fun, so I wander on over to meet them for some grub.

So we go to the Scotch place for dinner, the two of them were dressed up for the ballet and me looking dingy in my white T-shirt. I'm sure I looked like a crackhead or something, but that's the beauty of New York City. Plenty of people look absolutely ridiculous all the time, so I didn't feel too bad about it.

Sidenote: that reminds me, I bumped in the Naked Cowgirl (Grandma version) in Times Square today. It was kind of horrifying. I heard multiple people waiting for the crosswalk signal mutter the words "scarred for life." They took the words right out of my mouth.

Then we went to my favorite Hell's Kitchen bar and had a couple of drinks and met and old friend of Lisa's girlfriend who lives in Queens. She was really cool (not single, as I'm sure I'll get asked) and we went to a bar in Brooklyn.

We went to Park Slope, which is supposed to be one of the most happening parts of the city. I didn't get that sense, but what do I know... it seems Brooklyn is apparently cool because it's Brooklyn... we'll see how my next foray into that borough turns out.

Long story short, getting to and from this bar was a pretty big pain... so maybe it's best I didn't end up getting a place in Brooklyn. Also, the waitress was pretty angry. We did have a long chat about the all too common and oft ignored STD, gonnhasyphyherpeles.

It's out there, and it's dangerous.

I wonder if the people I saw on the subway this morning spreading the word of safe sex are familiar with gonnhasyphyherpeles. They were wearing T-shirts with condoms stapled all over them.

There really is always something interesting to see here in this city.

Studies like this are probably why there are folks wandering the streets covered in condoms. It gives me a special warm fuzzy feeling to know that one in four people in my new hometown have herpes. Awesome.

So today, I just had some more NyQuil (I've almost finished half the bottle
I bought Friday) and took it easy. I figured some fresh air might do me some good, so I went to Central Park and read the Sunday paper. The park is pretty massive, and the corner I was in was beautiful and relaxing.

I'll definitely have to go jogging there in the future.

Against my better judgment, I've been watching Law and Order all day on USA. That combined with the ultra-sensationalized coverage of crime in the New York Post and New York Daily News and it's a wonder I'm not too scared to walk the streets.

Now I guess I'll have some more NyQuil and hit the hay.

One week down... one very awesome week down...

Sorry all, I've been crazy busy with the new job, the new city, looking for a new apartment and all the other fun things that come along with government move... so I've kind of been slacking on updating.

So here is kind of an update on some of the things that have happened so far during my first week in the big city. I ...

... happened to see James Earl Jones as he was leaving a show he's in

... found an all Scottish bar, St. Andrews Pub, with all the Scotch varieties I could ever want to try, and yes they all have thick Scottish accents and wear kilts

... found my new favorite bar in Hell's Kitchen, where I'll be able to watch any Devil Rays game I want. It is where I watched the Rays beat the Marlins which was followed by the next thing...

... Got drunk and spent all night singing karaoke with a bus-load of Australian tourists at said Hell's Kitchen bar (more on that below)

... got a BlackBerry at work

... accidentally let my BlackBerry start ringing loudly while watching my boss get interviewed by a local news station. I figure if I set the expectations low enough, then I'll only look stellar in the future, right? That's what I'm telling myself.

... caught a patrol boat across the Hudson River to a media event off the shore in Hoboken, N.J. (this trip provided some of the most spectacular views of the Manhattan skyline from the water)

... accidentally almost lost my new BlackBerry when it came off my belt when I was negotiating my way through some exposed steel cables on a floating barge on the waters just off Hoboken, N.J.

... was teased by a Jersey dock worker about wasteful federal government spending

... caught myself, even though it makes perfect sense, laughing to myself about that fact that most of the people I came across in New Jersey had thick New Jersey accents

... stumbled upon a free concert in Bryant Park. It turns out it was a Pride event, because it's that time of year in the City... I'm sure someone will have fun with that one in the comments

... had a couple beers with a friend from college at McSorley's Old Ale House, the oldest Irish Pub in New York City, or something to that effect. The reason we each had a couple, is because they don't serve beer one at a time, only two at a time. We also had their gourmet cheese and crackers where they give you a sleeve of crackers straight out of the box and some sliced cheese and onions.

... have essentially found an apartment, and am just waiting for the paperwork to get through (more on that below)

... in my head I mistook, on two separate occasions, girls standing alone dressed to the nines and caked in make-up in SoHo for prostitutes when they were standing on the corner looking around desperately and showing some leg. They were both, very unsuccessfully, trying to hail cabs. Don't worry, I didn't try to solicit services.

... saw what I'm pretty sure was a hobo soil himself (not a number one either folks) at a subway exit near Times Square.

... accidentally used a business entrance to Three World Trade Center as a thru-way on the way to the harbor, which I think they frown upon

... went to a Chevy's in the Financial District where the LED ticker wasn't sports scores, but rather stock prices. I got a kick out of that. Campbell's Soup was down a bit... but nothing compared to Wac-HO-via's crazy tailspin as of late.

... have sort of gotten the gist of how to get to and from Chinatown from the office (a crucial trade passage to be familiar with for lunch)

... have been to Brooklyn, Staten Island and New Jersey

... have started getting used to the subway system and have been on the A,C,E,B,D,R,4,5 and 6 lines.

... while in the R line, went through an abandoned subway station, that looks like it would be a lot of fun to check out... Lisa, are you reading this?

These are just a small sampling of the interesting things that have happened so far in just one week in the city. It has been an exhausting week, but it has also been an amazing week. I'm loving the job, loving the energy of the city and loving the unpredictability. Seriously, nobody knows what's going to happen next and it's great to just be a part of things.

They come from a land down under...

So I had a crazy fun night at my new favorite bar in Hell's Kitchen. I was watching the Devil Rays vs. Marlins (Rays won) when as the game was coming to a close, I notice the other side of the bar is filling up rapidly.

I wander over and start talking to these two girls, when one of their boyfriends comes up and promptly introduces himself. We then all hung out drinking together until one of the bartenders turns on the karaoke machine.

Uh oh. This night was not ending anytime soon, especially since one of the Aussies offered me beers for songs, and I was already drunk enough to sing anyway.

The two I remember singing were Sweet Caroline and Come on Eileen.

Can anyone guess what song got the biggest rise out of the crowd? It was totally Men at Work's classic "I come from a land down under."

As soon as the little steel drum intro came on the speakers, they went absolutely nuts. It was hilarious. It was like something out of some ridiculous comedy.

I guess it sort of made sense? Was that song maybe like their country's 15 minutes of fame? Koalas, kangaroos, Fosters, ex-cons and Men at Work... that's Australia in a nutshell, right? and dingoes I suppose... the mortal enemy of the Koala, as Busch Gardens puts it.

I asked one of them if he plundered and liked vegemite sandwiches and he just looked at me like I was from Mars. I think he was too drunk to get it... or perhaps I was so drunk I didn't make sense.

The important thing of the night was that I didn't chunder, which would have been bad.

...

So I picked an apartment. It's in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan. It's right across the street from an express subway stop and from Fort Tryon Park. It's right on the same line as everything that matters, work, the Village/NYU, Penn Station, the Port Authority Bus Terminal and Times Square. It's pretty spacious too, so guests won't be cramped when they decided to get their butts up and visit!

So I'm pretty excited and can't wait for all the paperwork to come through and to be able to move in...

So that is kind of a real down and dirty update on things. Maybe once things settle down I'll be a little more regular in posting.

For now though, it's one amazing week down and hopefully many, many more amazing weeks to go!

"We don't have 2 take our clothes off 2 have a good time."

It's true. Jermaine Stewart is not a man you want to argue with.

I really can't remember the last time I heard the whole Jermaine Stewart classic ode to platonic love, but sure enough it came on in the Hell's Kitchen bar I watched the Red Sox game at. I think the bar was close enough to Times Square that there were enough tourists that I didn't get shot for rooting for the Sox (we lost to the Arizona Diamondbacks - 2-1).

You have to admit, it's a fun eighties ditty. Also, hopefully this post will offer some sort of explanation to the people I randomly texted when this song came on. I think I may have even texted some of the gals that I got numbers from in Chinatown in D.C., oh well... everyone can appreciate a good Jermaine Stewart reference, right? It is just a really fun song. Listen to it twice, and tell me you're not singing along with the chorus the second time you hear it. Word.

Sidenote about the Hell's Kitchen bar. These kids came in, and the leader pulled up to the bar and told the bartender in a serious tone "Give me the usual."

The bartender then proceeded to card him, he gave her his driver's license with a 1992 birth year and she laughed just about to the point of crying. They didn't stay too much longer. It was a pretty goofy scene, where everybody at the bar had a good laugh.

So... anyway... along with my adventures with Jermaine Stewart in Hell's Kitchen (how often do you hear that?... I love New York City.) I also had my first day of work.

I found the place alright in the morning, since I had done a couple dry runs. I did get a bit mixed up around the street "People with A.I.D.S. Plaza," literally... but I got situated soon after that. Near City Hall especially, parts of streets in New York have some strange and really specific names...

My boss called in sick, so I didn't have too much direction once I got into the office, but that was good because it let me do more apartment hunting stuff.

The people in the office were really nice, but weren't too talkative... we'll see if that can be cured.

So, I met this nice girl briefly on the elevator in the morning and we chatted a bit. She seemed really nice. The next time I bumped into her was in my brief tour of the other offices, and apparently she works in the EEO office... so... I'm kind of torn. Would it be kind of a moron move for the new guy to start hitting on someone in the EEO office? Maybe I'll see how to do one of those polls like "worldlyjen" did on her blog... we'll see...

She's not on my floor of the building, so I probably won't run into her again too soon... but if I do, we'll see what happens... I asked her about lunch in Chinatown and she recommended a restaurant called "Big Wong." It was actually pretty good.

Well... one day down.... we'll see how day two goes...

A boring apartment hunt update... essentially.

So I've finished my first full day in the city, and a good chunk of it was spent walking. According to Google Maps, I probably walked about seven miles or so today.

I also got my first taste of a screaming baby on the subway, which was fun. It was kind of like on an airplane except the sound was a lot crisper.

I also visited both Brooklyn and Staten Island for the first time.

The ferry ride to Staten Island was actually pretty painless...

It is at it's own station, so you can't get on the wrong ferry. People can see when the ferry pulls up, then they just mass like cattle and when the gate opens people just file onto the boat. It's free so there's no waiting for tickets to be checked or anything.

Staten Island itself was actually pretty nice and the apartments I looked at were nice, but I just don't think I could live that disconnected from the city.

There are too many working parts involved in getting to and from anywhere in Manhattan, and if anything went wrong I would end up being at least 30 minutes late for work.

Side note: somehow I walked uphill both ways between the apartment building and the ferry station. Somebody explain that one to me.

One of their apartments did have a killer view out the window of the Manhattan skyline and the Statue of Liberty. There is also this really ugly looking peninsula in with the spectacular view that looks like some sort of industrial dump and I asked the leasing agent what it was and the landlord just matter-of-factly said "Oh... that's New Jersey."

We both knew nothing more needed to be said.

I also went to Brooklyn for the first time today. It was a little east of Brooklyn Heights. It reminded me of wandering around less fancy parts of Manhattan except it was less crowded, the buildings were a little shorter and I was definitely in the minority in that part of Brooklyn.

It was surprisingly painless to ride the subway to and from Brooklyn though, so that's cool.

That being said, there are a couple of apartment buildings near Prospect Park in Brooklyn I plan on looking at soon. There is also one in the Bronx I'll probably check out Tuesday after work.

I still haven't gotten a chance to see the Washington Heights apartment I mentioned earlier yet, and there are still a few random apartments in Manhattan on my radar.

All in all, I'm still optimistic, but I've got a lot of looking around to do...

Well, tomorrow is my first day of work, so I should probably hit the hay. Exciting stuff.

I'm in NYC now, plus some little things...

First, in the interest of full disclosure, I just got in from a fun night on the town... So let's begin :)

I made it to New York City and am ready to start getting settled in.

One administrative note: "Princeton" made fun of his name and said it was generic and not creative enough. So from here on out he will be "Lisa." There is no real reason for this, but I figure if he wants something more "creative," he can have a girl's name. Word.

So anyway... I am in New York at my temporary quarters hotel I found where I'll be staying until I find an apartment... which is still kind of up in the air. So I am officially in the city now... just still looking for somewhere to actually live.

So I flew into D.C. from Alabama and then drove to Lisa's place in New Jersey to meet with him and figure out a place to leave my car and then we headed into Manhattan.

Those of you who know me best know I have an innate ability to get lost no matter where I am or where I am going.

I ended up lost on the beltway around Trenton, NJ, today. No, Trenton was not even close to on the way to Lisa's place. Not even by a longshot. Ridiculous... driving around the "Garden State" and praying... I have no idea how I ended up in Trenton, and I kind of don't want to know.

So on a more positive note, Lisa and I found a Scottish bar called St. Andrews. According to the bartender, they had about 295 kinds of single malt scotch available there. Awesome, to say the least. They even had Penderyn, the lone Welsh Whisky in the world. I have always wanted to try it, and this place had it. It was alright, a little harsh. They served it neat. It reminded me of something between a Highland tasting scotch and an Orkney scotch.

Oh yeah... I'd like to offer a not-so-sincere apology to my friend Big T to the C for all the trash I've talked about Staten Island. Apparently her family is from there. She always smelled nice at work, so how could I have known? Oh well, she probably won't ever see this anyway.

Well, I'm going to do some apartment hunting Sunday, so we'll see what happens with that... then Monday is my first day of work... so that should be neat. I'll probably offer up a much more sober/awake entry tomorrow.

Well, g'night!

Off to 'Bama...

Hey all... it's been a crazy day to say the least.

I'm off to the airport to go to get my stuff out of storage in Alabama.

I'll be getting into NYC Saturday afternoon... if my car is running (the battery was totally dead last night to add some extra spice to the move (I think this move is cursed). The AAA guy (who came an hour later than they said would be his latest possible arrival time) gave it some charge and said I'd definitely need a new one. I nursed it all night and I got it to start this morning, so that's a plus, we'll see what happens Saturday...

I'll update if I can over the next couple of days... catch you all later...