I know, I'm a slacker... a few random things from the past week...

Well, I'm aware that I've been a total slacker lately, but I've been like and alcoholic hair product this whole past week. Get hammered, recover from hangover, repeat. Unfortunately, keeping up that kind of schedule doesn't leave much time for blogging.

Since it's been a while I'll just throw out some random things from the past week or so, which included Thanatos coming up this weekend and us hanging out with another roommate of ours from USF, who I'll just call MM. He lives in the Upper East Side now.

* During the week, I went out for some serious boozing with MM. The few random things I remember... doing some sort of street dancing/break dancing with these dudes outside of a bar... somewhere (I have no idea what part of town that was in) and grabbing drinks at Beauty Bar. They had a manicurist on staff and had a deal where a manicure was $10 and it comes with a free martini.

* I was introduced to Country Club malt liquor this weekend, which was fun. MM and I picked up a couple of 40's (still always a novelty since in Florida you can't get anything bigger than a "32," which is lame).

I'm not going to lie and say it was delicious, heck - when I opened the bottle it smelled like it farted, but it did provide us with endless entertainment in many ways.

Someone made a MySpace page for the malt liquor and it's pretty goofy.

Who I'd like to meet:
I'd like to meet "real" drinkers. The kind of person who likes to go to the store and pick up a ice cold and frosty Country Club 40oz. and drink it right in the parking lot. That's right, you don't have time to wait until you get home.

Or "his" TV Interests:

Television I remember the episode of Sesame Street where Burt came home after a long day and went right to the fridge. Well, guess what? Yup, Ernie had drank up all of Burts 40oz and was face down on the carpet. Needless to say, Burt beat the shit outta Ernie that day. I think the letter of the day was P....for Pain.

Hopefully Country Club malt liquor will accept my friend request, unlike Sue Bird. That hurt deep, but somehow I think I'll pull through.

* Besides, there are bigger things to worry about in this city, like C.H.U.D., Cannabalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.

We spent a lot of time underground, both on and off trains, so we had to be extra cautious this weekend due to the constant threat of C.H.U.D.



* Thanatos and I stumbled on the Hell's Kitchen Flea Market, which was pretty cool. They had all kinds of weird things for sale, ranging from records to those old-timey two-piece telephones to a 1990 Batcopter toy complete with a picture of Michael Keaton on the box.

I was able to behave myself and left with just one thing, the Godfather soundtrack on record. There's some quality music in that movie, like the "Godfather Waltz" -



* We totally set back my health efforts by about two or three months at least. Along with copious amounts of booze and other random food, including of course the malt liquor, we had Hooters, KFC and White Castle. Those are not places known for their healthy options.

*Oh yeah, I successfully got my transit subsidy worked out... I just had to get turned away from a bunch of seemingly legit places first.

* Also, thanks for all the birthday wishes and such!

"So much is going on this week that your head will spin"

So, according to the New York Daily News, my horoscope says "So much is going on this week that your head will spin."

That's a good sign. I was worried things might slow down and I'd be able to relax a bit. Thank goodness the stars say I was wrong on that one.

I know I'll need to finalize my apartment lease, barring anything getting messed up (which just wouldn't surprise me at this point). I'll also need to get "moved in" to that apartment by the end of Tuesday, including getting my car from New Jersey over to Washington Heights and unloading it in time to start heading down to Florida first thing Wednesday morning...

At least the end of the week will be the beginning of a family reunion cruise, so that should be relaxing and fun, right?

Anyway...

Saturday started out pretty slow, mostly because I've actually been kind of sick... which probably isn't helped by the constant drinking, but what do I know, I'm not a doctor or anything.

So I found another Hell's Kitchen bar that was pretty fun. They don't have a kitchen, but instead they offer takeout/delivery menus and let folks bring whatever they want in. It can end up being a lot cheaper than most of the other bars nearby. The guys next to me all ordered a whole pizza delivered.

The bar got bonus points because they had a USF pennant on the wall... though when I asked about it, the bartender told me they just have every school's banner... it wasn't a terribly large bar, and I doubt even the NCAA headquarters has every school's banner, you know?

So I get a call from Lisa, he and his girlfriend have come to the city to see a ballet and want to do dinner. I of course have been slumming it in a dive bar watching baseball and wearing some random free I gave blood T-shirt. (I'm pretty much out of laundry)

They're tons of fun, so I wander on over to meet them for some grub.

So we go to the Scotch place for dinner, the two of them were dressed up for the ballet and me looking dingy in my white T-shirt. I'm sure I looked like a crackhead or something, but that's the beauty of New York City. Plenty of people look absolutely ridiculous all the time, so I didn't feel too bad about it.

Sidenote: that reminds me, I bumped in the Naked Cowgirl (Grandma version) in Times Square today. It was kind of horrifying. I heard multiple people waiting for the crosswalk signal mutter the words "scarred for life." They took the words right out of my mouth.

Then we went to my favorite Hell's Kitchen bar and had a couple of drinks and met and old friend of Lisa's girlfriend who lives in Queens. She was really cool (not single, as I'm sure I'll get asked) and we went to a bar in Brooklyn.

We went to Park Slope, which is supposed to be one of the most happening parts of the city. I didn't get that sense, but what do I know... it seems Brooklyn is apparently cool because it's Brooklyn... we'll see how my next foray into that borough turns out.

Long story short, getting to and from this bar was a pretty big pain... so maybe it's best I didn't end up getting a place in Brooklyn. Also, the waitress was pretty angry. We did have a long chat about the all too common and oft ignored STD, gonnhasyphyherpeles.

It's out there, and it's dangerous.

I wonder if the people I saw on the subway this morning spreading the word of safe sex are familiar with gonnhasyphyherpeles. They were wearing T-shirts with condoms stapled all over them.

There really is always something interesting to see here in this city.

Studies like this are probably why there are folks wandering the streets covered in condoms. It gives me a special warm fuzzy feeling to know that one in four people in my new hometown have herpes. Awesome.

So today, I just had some more NyQuil (I've almost finished half the bottle
I bought Friday) and took it easy. I figured some fresh air might do me some good, so I went to Central Park and read the Sunday paper. The park is pretty massive, and the corner I was in was beautiful and relaxing.

I'll definitely have to go jogging there in the future.

Against my better judgment, I've been watching Law and Order all day on USA. That combined with the ultra-sensationalized coverage of crime in the New York Post and New York Daily News and it's a wonder I'm not too scared to walk the streets.

Now I guess I'll have some more NyQuil and hit the hay.

One week down... one very awesome week down...

Sorry all, I've been crazy busy with the new job, the new city, looking for a new apartment and all the other fun things that come along with government move... so I've kind of been slacking on updating.

So here is kind of an update on some of the things that have happened so far during my first week in the big city. I ...

... happened to see James Earl Jones as he was leaving a show he's in

... found an all Scottish bar, St. Andrews Pub, with all the Scotch varieties I could ever want to try, and yes they all have thick Scottish accents and wear kilts

... found my new favorite bar in Hell's Kitchen, where I'll be able to watch any Devil Rays game I want. It is where I watched the Rays beat the Marlins which was followed by the next thing...

... Got drunk and spent all night singing karaoke with a bus-load of Australian tourists at said Hell's Kitchen bar (more on that below)

... got a BlackBerry at work

... accidentally let my BlackBerry start ringing loudly while watching my boss get interviewed by a local news station. I figure if I set the expectations low enough, then I'll only look stellar in the future, right? That's what I'm telling myself.

... caught a patrol boat across the Hudson River to a media event off the shore in Hoboken, N.J. (this trip provided some of the most spectacular views of the Manhattan skyline from the water)

... accidentally almost lost my new BlackBerry when it came off my belt when I was negotiating my way through some exposed steel cables on a floating barge on the waters just off Hoboken, N.J.

... was teased by a Jersey dock worker about wasteful federal government spending

... caught myself, even though it makes perfect sense, laughing to myself about that fact that most of the people I came across in New Jersey had thick New Jersey accents

... stumbled upon a free concert in Bryant Park. It turns out it was a Pride event, because it's that time of year in the City... I'm sure someone will have fun with that one in the comments

... had a couple beers with a friend from college at McSorley's Old Ale House, the oldest Irish Pub in New York City, or something to that effect. The reason we each had a couple, is because they don't serve beer one at a time, only two at a time. We also had their gourmet cheese and crackers where they give you a sleeve of crackers straight out of the box and some sliced cheese and onions.

... have essentially found an apartment, and am just waiting for the paperwork to get through (more on that below)

... in my head I mistook, on two separate occasions, girls standing alone dressed to the nines and caked in make-up in SoHo for prostitutes when they were standing on the corner looking around desperately and showing some leg. They were both, very unsuccessfully, trying to hail cabs. Don't worry, I didn't try to solicit services.

... saw what I'm pretty sure was a hobo soil himself (not a number one either folks) at a subway exit near Times Square.

... accidentally used a business entrance to Three World Trade Center as a thru-way on the way to the harbor, which I think they frown upon

... went to a Chevy's in the Financial District where the LED ticker wasn't sports scores, but rather stock prices. I got a kick out of that. Campbell's Soup was down a bit... but nothing compared to Wac-HO-via's crazy tailspin as of late.

... have sort of gotten the gist of how to get to and from Chinatown from the office (a crucial trade passage to be familiar with for lunch)

... have been to Brooklyn, Staten Island and New Jersey

... have started getting used to the subway system and have been on the A,C,E,B,D,R,4,5 and 6 lines.

... while in the R line, went through an abandoned subway station, that looks like it would be a lot of fun to check out... Lisa, are you reading this?

These are just a small sampling of the interesting things that have happened so far in just one week in the city. It has been an exhausting week, but it has also been an amazing week. I'm loving the job, loving the energy of the city and loving the unpredictability. Seriously, nobody knows what's going to happen next and it's great to just be a part of things.

They come from a land down under...

So I had a crazy fun night at my new favorite bar in Hell's Kitchen. I was watching the Devil Rays vs. Marlins (Rays won) when as the game was coming to a close, I notice the other side of the bar is filling up rapidly.

I wander over and start talking to these two girls, when one of their boyfriends comes up and promptly introduces himself. We then all hung out drinking together until one of the bartenders turns on the karaoke machine.

Uh oh. This night was not ending anytime soon, especially since one of the Aussies offered me beers for songs, and I was already drunk enough to sing anyway.

The two I remember singing were Sweet Caroline and Come on Eileen.

Can anyone guess what song got the biggest rise out of the crowd? It was totally Men at Work's classic "I come from a land down under."

As soon as the little steel drum intro came on the speakers, they went absolutely nuts. It was hilarious. It was like something out of some ridiculous comedy.

I guess it sort of made sense? Was that song maybe like their country's 15 minutes of fame? Koalas, kangaroos, Fosters, ex-cons and Men at Work... that's Australia in a nutshell, right? and dingoes I suppose... the mortal enemy of the Koala, as Busch Gardens puts it.

I asked one of them if he plundered and liked vegemite sandwiches and he just looked at me like I was from Mars. I think he was too drunk to get it... or perhaps I was so drunk I didn't make sense.

The important thing of the night was that I didn't chunder, which would have been bad.

...

So I picked an apartment. It's in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan. It's right across the street from an express subway stop and from Fort Tryon Park. It's right on the same line as everything that matters, work, the Village/NYU, Penn Station, the Port Authority Bus Terminal and Times Square. It's pretty spacious too, so guests won't be cramped when they decided to get their butts up and visit!

So I'm pretty excited and can't wait for all the paperwork to come through and to be able to move in...

So that is kind of a real down and dirty update on things. Maybe once things settle down I'll be a little more regular in posting.

For now though, it's one amazing week down and hopefully many, many more amazing weeks to go!

"We don't have 2 take our clothes off 2 have a good time."

It's true. Jermaine Stewart is not a man you want to argue with.

I really can't remember the last time I heard the whole Jermaine Stewart classic ode to platonic love, but sure enough it came on in the Hell's Kitchen bar I watched the Red Sox game at. I think the bar was close enough to Times Square that there were enough tourists that I didn't get shot for rooting for the Sox (we lost to the Arizona Diamondbacks - 2-1).

You have to admit, it's a fun eighties ditty. Also, hopefully this post will offer some sort of explanation to the people I randomly texted when this song came on. I think I may have even texted some of the gals that I got numbers from in Chinatown in D.C., oh well... everyone can appreciate a good Jermaine Stewart reference, right? It is just a really fun song. Listen to it twice, and tell me you're not singing along with the chorus the second time you hear it. Word.

Sidenote about the Hell's Kitchen bar. These kids came in, and the leader pulled up to the bar and told the bartender in a serious tone "Give me the usual."

The bartender then proceeded to card him, he gave her his driver's license with a 1992 birth year and she laughed just about to the point of crying. They didn't stay too much longer. It was a pretty goofy scene, where everybody at the bar had a good laugh.

So... anyway... along with my adventures with Jermaine Stewart in Hell's Kitchen (how often do you hear that?... I love New York City.) I also had my first day of work.

I found the place alright in the morning, since I had done a couple dry runs. I did get a bit mixed up around the street "People with A.I.D.S. Plaza," literally... but I got situated soon after that. Near City Hall especially, parts of streets in New York have some strange and really specific names...

My boss called in sick, so I didn't have too much direction once I got into the office, but that was good because it let me do more apartment hunting stuff.

The people in the office were really nice, but weren't too talkative... we'll see if that can be cured.

So, I met this nice girl briefly on the elevator in the morning and we chatted a bit. She seemed really nice. The next time I bumped into her was in my brief tour of the other offices, and apparently she works in the EEO office... so... I'm kind of torn. Would it be kind of a moron move for the new guy to start hitting on someone in the EEO office? Maybe I'll see how to do one of those polls like "worldlyjen" did on her blog... we'll see...

She's not on my floor of the building, so I probably won't run into her again too soon... but if I do, we'll see what happens... I asked her about lunch in Chinatown and she recommended a restaurant called "Big Wong." It was actually pretty good.

Well... one day down.... we'll see how day two goes...

I'm in NYC now, plus some little things...

First, in the interest of full disclosure, I just got in from a fun night on the town... So let's begin :)

I made it to New York City and am ready to start getting settled in.

One administrative note: "Princeton" made fun of his name and said it was generic and not creative enough. So from here on out he will be "Lisa." There is no real reason for this, but I figure if he wants something more "creative," he can have a girl's name. Word.

So anyway... I am in New York at my temporary quarters hotel I found where I'll be staying until I find an apartment... which is still kind of up in the air. So I am officially in the city now... just still looking for somewhere to actually live.

So I flew into D.C. from Alabama and then drove to Lisa's place in New Jersey to meet with him and figure out a place to leave my car and then we headed into Manhattan.

Those of you who know me best know I have an innate ability to get lost no matter where I am or where I am going.

I ended up lost on the beltway around Trenton, NJ, today. No, Trenton was not even close to on the way to Lisa's place. Not even by a longshot. Ridiculous... driving around the "Garden State" and praying... I have no idea how I ended up in Trenton, and I kind of don't want to know.

So on a more positive note, Lisa and I found a Scottish bar called St. Andrews. According to the bartender, they had about 295 kinds of single malt scotch available there. Awesome, to say the least. They even had Penderyn, the lone Welsh Whisky in the world. I have always wanted to try it, and this place had it. It was alright, a little harsh. They served it neat. It reminded me of something between a Highland tasting scotch and an Orkney scotch.

Oh yeah... I'd like to offer a not-so-sincere apology to my friend Big T to the C for all the trash I've talked about Staten Island. Apparently her family is from there. She always smelled nice at work, so how could I have known? Oh well, she probably won't ever see this anyway.

Well, I'm going to do some apartment hunting Sunday, so we'll see what happens with that... then Monday is my first day of work... so that should be neat. I'll probably offer up a much more sober/awake entry tomorrow.

Well, g'night!

More apartment hunting fun...

Well, work was pretty slow today... to say the least. I was able to take care of some things for my upcoming move, make more copies than Rob Schneider could have ever dreamed of and even fiddled around Facebook for a while.

It's probably for the best though. It gave me time to continue my apartment hunt. I'm already starting to weed out some of the apartments that are clearly scams. Sure, I'd love to send about a thousand bucks to you over in West Africa, so that you can then mail me keys to your too good to be true apartment. Sounds brilliant to me.

There's another one that seems vaguely promising... but it's Craigslist posting was flagged and removed when I went back... so I'll keep that in mind as I continue to e-mail back and forth with the potential landlord. The price is almost too good to be true... but it's in the neighborhood lovingly known as Hell's Kitchen, so I figure that might be impacting the price...

It's just a name, right? Like "monster island," which is actually a peninsula... I think the name is out of date and is a throwback to the time of gangsters and the far scarier threat to society, prohibition, but I'll definitely have to do some serious scoping out of the area.

I've actually gotten a lot of vague support for considering the Staten Island apartment, which is surprising since half the island is pretty much a landfill. Maybe you all just have it out for me and would all love to be able to tease me about living on an earthen garbage barge, who knows?

I couldn't tell if one friend was pro-Staten Island or not, he put something on my Facebook wall about the ferries... some sort of ethnic slur against both British and Japanese people I think. I'm pretty sure it was pro-ferries though, but I'm not really sure.

I'm also looking at a couple of apartments in the Journal Square area of Jersey City... some of you may already know that Journal Square and I have a little bit of a history. We're totally BFF. Its PATH station is officially the strangest place I have ever confusedly/unscheduledly (real words are lame) woken up after a night on the town. Sorry friend's bathroom floor in Avalon in college, you've been replaced (but not forgotten), in case you didn't get the memo.

I hopped off at the wrong station and fell asleep on the bench waiting for my friend to get off the train. However, he was not dumb enough to get off the train two stops early... partially because he had fallen asleep.

It seemed like a nice enough area, but I didn't wander too far away from the station and was more focused on getting home rather than casing the joint.

So we'll see if that night was a sign that Journal Square is just where the fates want me to end up... yeah... we'll see...

I figure these are always fun, so I'll leave you all with a fun "Overheard in New York" quote I found from the aforementioned Hell's Kitchen:

Chick: He's either retarded... or from the Bronx.